Thursday, April 17, 2008

Five AM, or How I Came to Pee-Pee on the Puppy


This is Lucky (“Hi, Lucky”). Lucky is a puppy. Lucky is our puppy. The kiddos named Lucky Lucky. I wanted to name Lucky Andy, after this guy. I was outvoted. So, this is Lucky.

Every morning Lucky wakes up around 5:00 or so, because his little puppy bladder simply cannot hold it in anymore. I don’t hold this against him; it’s the nature of puppy bladders to not be very big. So, every morning when I get up at 5:00 or so to take Lucky out, I have an instant dilemma. Do I pee before taking him out, knowing that all the while Lucky will be whimpering and potentially waking up Benjamin, or do I hold it until afterwards?

Well, thank God for middle ground. After doing this for a week or so, I came to the realization that if it was ok for my dog to pee in the back yard so early in the morning, then dagnabbit, it should be ok for me too. Now, this realization does not extend to later in the day, after the sun has assumed its customary place in the sky – this is strictly a darktime activity.

Here’s the usual routine: Lucky trots out the back door, goes down the steps, and heads right, to the fence to do his watering of the grass. I slouch out the back door, go down the steps, and head left, to do my business under the deck. At this point, it’s a race. Who can finish first: the puppy who has been holding it for six hours or so, or the 30 year old who drank 2 glasses of wine before heading off to bed?

To spare you the suspense, I pretty much always lose. Turns out the 30 year old bladder is bigger than the 10 week old bladder. Go figure.

When he beats me, he trots on over to check on my progress. I have learned, over the last few days, that Lucky thinks that my output is extremely interesting, so much so that he heads after it like he’s trying to drink from the garden hose. Needless to say, I don’t want him drinking from the garden hose – not this one, anyway. The result is some very creative aiming on my part and some very creative chasing on his.

This morning, he won.

And that, dear reader(s), is how I came to pee-pee on the puppy.

9 comments:

Shirley said...

You really wanted your mother to read this? But I am laughing.

Kevin said...

Glad to have your thoughts back where we can all see them. thanks to rainbowdull for not giving up on you. the name lucky doesn't seem to fit considering.

tamsaunt said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tamsaunt said...

Forget your mother, what about your old maid aunt! I, too, am laughing.

Capt. Flipout said...

Now THAT was worth waiting for!

Myles said...

wonderful. glad to have you back in the blogdom.

Myles said...

also, i love that you cribbed this blog's name from a springsteen line. that's the best part.

Doubtful Muse said...

I'm supposed to be working, but OMG - LOL!

michellenotdawn said...

Seriously? That kind of news is why i love the internets. : )